After The Frat

Bacardi & Cola

2010-05-08T18:52:00.000-04:00

BALLIN!

Idiots

2010-05-08T10:58:00.006-04:00

"the efficient-market hypothesis requires that agents have rational expectations; that on average the population is correct (even if no one person is) and whenever new relevant information appears, the agents update their expectations appropriately. Thus, any one person can be wrong about the market — indeed, everyone can be — but the market as a whole is always right."

people have won nobel prizes for providing these types of "breakthroughs". how is that different from other forms of cult worship?

jets fans more delusional than ever

2010-05-07T14:55:00.003-04:00

ESPN.com Rex Kool-Aid? Have another glass, New York Jets fans.

Turns out, Jets' fans might be just as swaggerlicious as their coach. When asked in a recent SportsNation poll what the Jets record would be at the end of the season, Jets fans said their team would go 15-1.

A franchise that has yet to win a division title since "You play to win the game!" was fashionable has some lofty expectations. News flash, the hoodie still owns you. When the senior citizen lineup starts gasping for breath on the sidelines maybe this will all sink in.

facebook fail

2010-05-07T14:34:00.005-04:00

Hollywood pressure = bigger tits

2010-04-29T13:04:00.002-04:00

US Magazine Audrina Patridge went under the knife -- and it was just the confidence boost that she needed.

The aspiring actress "feels she has to be perfect to continue her career in TV and film," the pal continues. (After The Hills wraps later this year, Patridge hopes to launch her own reality TV show with producer Mark Burnett).

Now, with noticeably larger breasts, "She think she has a banging body," a friend says. Adds another: "she's confident in her looks. I don't think she'll get more surgery."

Finally! I applaud you Audrina and the Hollywood media for destroying beautiful girls self esteem in order so show them bigger breasts are the answer. From this picture it looks like Audrina has bought herself some more time in Hollywood.

Teabaggers vs. Logic

2010-04-29T12:53:00.002-04:00

Bill's latest rant on the Tea Party movement.

Erin Andrews is too hot for ESPN

2010-04-28T19:53:00.001-04:00

Need I say more?

I know what women want

2010-04-20T22:32:00.002-04:00

Askmen.com Most women are at least secretly turned-on by the idea of being tied up. Your woman could well be one of them. Interested in finding out? It’s pretty easy, really. Grab something innocuous -- a tie, perhaps -- and bring it to bed. While kneeling, slip behind her. Reach around her body and take her wrists into one hand. Hold them firmly; if she doesn’t seem alarmed by the sudden restriction, reach for the tie you brought along.

Funny how her fantasy is easily our favorite fantasy. That and...her and her sister...and blowjobs...tits. Sorry...turrets.

Anyway, a more scientific study was done at Rutgers. If you feel like reading check it out.

Heidi Montag is smart

2010-04-20T22:30:00.003-04:00

Hats off to Heidi for giving the audience what it wants. Triple D's and keeping her mouth shut. We applaud your talent.

McNabb wants Owens back

2010-04-20T22:22:00.003-04:00

If this truly goes down, the NFC East will draw some of the highest ratings of the season by far. For the sake of the NFL, they should just pay TO whatever he wants. The marketing campaign for Redskins vs. Eagles and Cowboys games will be monumental. Who cares if TO can't catch. We'll get to see him give more team destroying press conferences if the 'Skins self destruct. However, with Shanahan at the helm, the NFC East will be full of fireworks

Trey Parker and Matt Stone threatened with death

2010-04-20T22:15:00.003-04:00

tv.spreadit RevolutionMuslim.com which is a radical Islamic website has issued a warning against Trey Parker and Matt Stone the creators of “South Park” for depicting the Prophet Muhammad in a bear suit during their 200th episode which was broadcast on Comedy Central last week.

The threat which is accompanied by a graphic photo of slain Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh, who was murdered in 2004 after making a documentary on violence against Muslim women reads:

“We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid and they will probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh for airing this show.This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them.”

All I have to say is: Religion is crazy, and I don't want to die.

NY Jets love leftovers and degenerates

2010-04-12T21:52:00.003-04:00

NYTimes “With Santonio, we know there’s been bumps in the road to this point,” Tannenbaum said. “We hope he has learned from them. But it’s up to us to make it work.”

This begs the questions: Did Jerricho Cotchery fuck Mike Tannenbaum's wife or something? Cotchery is still the best receiver on the Jets and has been dogged the past two years with the acquistion of stone hands Braylon Edwards and now stoner Holmes.

Terry Bradshaw thinks Big Ben is a rapist

2010-04-12T21:47:00.004-04:00

USA Today Hall of Fame former Steelers QB Terry Bradshaw gave scathing remarks about current Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger on Monday. A Georgia DA announced on Monday he would not prosecute Roethlisberger for an alleged sexual assault against a 20-year-old woman.

Tiger Woods must be pissed that Big Ben can fondle underage chicks and get away with it. Must be nice to be a white.

Target Field hits the bull's eye

2010-04-12T21:40:00.004-04:00

The Minnesota Twins had their home opener today in brand new Target Field.

Price Tag: $528 million

In today's grandiose style of construction, half a billion doesn't seem as magnificent as the new Yankee Stadium, Cowboys Stadium, or Meadowlands Stadium. However, taste goes a long way and hats off to Jim Pohlad for creating a top notch baseball haven.

BREAKING: Obama Still Throws Like A Bitch

2010-04-06T20:00:00.003-04:00

This is why I'm not voting for Obama in 2012. He's the first kid out in dodgeball.

How does this qualify as a "developing story"? The script was written, lights turned on, camera rolling. MSNBC knows this. Where is the line between disingenuity and fraud?

that is why I don't vote.

Opening Day, Schmopening Day

2010-04-06T09:41:00.012-04:00

Despite the best efforts of the geriatric baseball writers association and the Peter Gammons-aged announcing corps on ESPN Baseball, partly due to steroids and partly due to the speeding up of society, the sport of baseball is and has been for a while, fading into the past (time). The game gets less relevant every year (that the Yankees don't win the World Series).

The big ticket draw in the Big Apple this weekend is the NCAA Men's Lacrosse Big City Classic featuring the top four collegiate lacrosse teams in the nation. Facing off at 4p.m. this Saturday at the New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, no. 2 North Carolina challenges undefeated and no. 1-ranked Virginia in an ACC battle royale. Directly following at 6:30p.m., the no. 3 Syracuse Orange, defending national champions, will rumble with the Princeton Tigers, who maintain a somewhat surprising no. 4 ranking and 7-1 record despite losing legendary head coach Bill Tierney.

It would be beating a dead horse to mention that lacrosse has been growing at a rapid pace for the past ten years. Since 2001, the sport has grown 138% at the high school level and it is also the fastest growing NCAA sport. There are 557 college teams and an additional 500 club teams. It's popularity is surging in athletic hotbeds like California, Texas and Florida. In the current Laxpower.com Computer/Coaches National Boys' High School rankings, all three states are represented.

However, the growth of lacrosse at the D-I collegiate level has been stunted by...anti-sex discrimination legislation, more specifically Title IX, or the Patsy T. Mink Equal Opportunity in Education Act. Now, I am not trying to suggest that equal opportunities in education are not a worthwhile objective. However, the actual effect of the legislation is to mandate that colleges and universities have essentially the same number of male and female athletes. Because football has no counterpart female sport, most big schools who have big football programs have to compensate by cutting other men's sports, with the effect of limiting these big schools from adding lacrosse as a D-I sport. Obviously the solid revenue generation of football programs does not justify getting rid of those teams, and let's be honest football is the number one sport in this country.

But the growth of lacrosse should not be obstructed by Title IX. I am a strong proponent of a "football exception" as part of the legislation. And the legislative history AKA the discussions leading up to the passage of Title IX in the 1970s, reflected a desire to implement such an exception. If such a move were made, you can be sure that big football schools like Florida State, Florida, Texas, Michigan, etc. will quickly start D-I programs. Why? First, all those schools already have strong club programs, and I'm sure every year those boys lobby the university to start a D-I program. Secondly, the revenue prospects for lacrosse are very appealing. Just last year, Ohio State packed over 30,000 in the horseshoe for a regular season game vs. Notre Dame. Obviously part of the draw is the ability to tailgate and watch the games in a football-like atmosphere. Lacrosse is a natural spring counterpart for football when college students still want to go outside and drink themselves stupid on a Saturday.

Furthermore, it's only a matter of time before the best athletes start playing lacrosse instead of baseball or track. It's a perfect sport for football players in the offseason because it keeps athletes in game shape. Plus, you get to hit people. Not to mention, the scholarship opportunities for lacrosse are much more realistic than for football.

But back to my original purpose for this post...you ain't never seen highlights like this coming out a baseball games :

You seen one sliding tag or diving catch, you seen 'em all.

You never seen hits like this in baseball:

Running into your teammate and/or the outfield wall just don't quiiiiiiiiite measure up.

Wikileaks sends out a shocker

2010-04-05T19:38:00.002-04:00

Zerohedge.com Dylan Ratigan is joined by Julian Assange, co-founder of Wikileaks, Lt. Colonel Anthony Shaffer, from the Center for Advance Defense Studies, Glen Greenwald, from Salon.com and Brett McGurk from the CFR, in discussing today's must watch video.

This is about as real/scary/unbelievable as the public will see. Assange goes on to say that we will soon see more classified videos.

Obama's shitty pitch 2.0

2010-04-05T19:23:00.001-04:00

Looks like Obama should stick to hoops. Again.

Easter makes girls wet!

2010-04-05T17:42:00.008-04:00

I came across this Easter tradition while surfing the google machine. So apparently there is a Easter tradition thats dates back to 13th Century Pagan childhood stories in Holland. Who gives a shit actually.But HEY! Another reason why Jesus loves you. This tradition is called "Watering of the Girls."

Oh wait, I know another great American "Watering of the Girls" Jesus not needed.

WTF: Pope doesn't follow same rules

2010-04-01T15:04:00.003-04:00

MSNBC.com VATICAN CITY - Pope Benedict, accused by victims' lawyers of being ultimately responsible for a cover-up of sexual abuse of children by priests, cannot be called to testify at any trial because he has immunity as a head of state, a top Vatican legal official said on Thursday.

I'm pretty sure of any other human covered up the systematic rape of little boys they would be crucified. Go figure.

So lets beat this like a drum and listen to the OG Atheist/Rationalist Bill Maher.

Ultra Music Festival 2010 = Success

2010-03-29T14:49:00.003-04:00

NJ Teacher's Unions should stop bitching

2010-03-23T11:11:00.003-04:00

NJ.com School boards across New Jersey were preparing to slash their staffs in reaction to the state's plans to slash aid to schools.

In Cherry Hill, the district has a preliminary budget that would reduce its 1,700-employee work force by about 100, including around 60 teachers. In Lawrence Township, near Trenton, 50 of the district's 600 jobs could be eliminated.

So let's break this down. Cherry Hill school district employs 1,700 individuals, of which roughly 6% would be losing their jobs. How about that? An unemployment rate of 6% as opposed to the rest of the country's 20% underemployment rate.

You mean to tell me that in today's job market that school administrators and teachers must also tighten their belts a little? Heaven forbid it. You mean municipalities may have to stop reckless hiring of assistant to the assistant type positions?

Tough break crybabies. The private sector really doesn't have time to listen to your whining about your steady raises year over year, premium healthcare services, and taxpayer-fueled pensions.

You know why? Because the rest of us actually have to fund our own retirements, contribute to our own healthcare, and actually work for 12 months out of the year. And don't feed me the stress level of teachers and administration being so exhaustive.

You're just pissed off that Governor Chris Christie is actually attempting to bring NJ back from the brink of bankruptcy and you're free ride is over. Welcome to the real world where taking a job "just for the benefits" no longer works. For those with an actual love of education and teaching, I have no doubt they will continue in their profession.

For further proof about the absolute waste that needs to be cut, check out the 19 pages of administrators and their staff salaries here.

Uh Oh! Michael Jackson's doctor is fucked

2010-03-23T09:34:00.004-04:00

MSNBC Michael Jackson's doctor halted CPR on the dying pop star and delayed calling paramedics so he could collect drug vials at the scene, according to documents obtained by The Associated Press that shed new light on the singer's chaotic final moments.

Can you say guilty? Looks like Dr Murray was more concerned about covering his ass than trying to resuscitate MJ.

Murray insisted he needed to return to the mansion to get cream that Jackson had "so the world wouldn't find out about it," according to the statements, which provide no elaboration.

I'm sure if he didn't hide the one drug, the Feds and doctors never would have known Jackson wasn't pumped full of narcotics otherwise.

He knows he was fucked since jump street.

DWTS is full of sex

2010-03-23T09:15:00.003-04:00

Now I'll be the first to admit that this show has no practical relevance in society, but this season actually has some reasons to watch.

Namely, the female contestants:

Voyeurism star Erin Andrews

Pussycat Nicole Scherzinger

and Miss Hep-C herself Pam Anderson.

Welcome back Tiger

2010-03-23T09:09:00.004-04:00

ESPN Tiger Woods will make his return to the links on April 8th at the Super Bowl of golf tournaments; The Masters. This will no doubt be one of the highest rated golfing events in recent memory.

It's my guess that Tiger's return will be well received among the golf geeks at Augusta, because in all honesty, golf needs Tiger just as much as Tiger needs golf.

Unfortunately we probably won't see Tiger parading his hoe train in the tee box.

Shit

2010-03-22T02:43:00.007-04:00

After the first weekend, my bracket is officially fucked. Cornell dominated its way to the Sweet 16, Ali Faroukhmanesh is the most famous Iranian since the Iron Sheikh, and Kentucky could definitely beat the Nets. My favorite anecdote of the weekend: 2 players who started for Kentucky last year are now the 9th and 10th players off the bench.

When things don't go your way, you have to be able put it in perspective.

One underrated aspect of this slut is the hip to waist ratio, which has to be at least 6x.

After The Fracket: Kentucky takes the title

2010-03-18T10:40:00.010-04:00

They start 4 lottery picks-3 in 2010 and 1 in 2011. Not much more analysis is needed (sorry Doug Gottshit). This Kentucky team has more talent than the Nets. However, look for this championship to be rescinded once Coach Cal's practice of stuffing player lockers with wads of cash "for good luck" is uncovered.

Look for Georgia Tech to upset Ohio State. Derrick Favors can shut down Evan Turner.

Tim Tebow to be embarrassed on Draft Day

2010-03-18T10:05:00.004-04:00

ESPN Looks like the NFL believes Tim Tebow (virgin) will be drafted sooner rather than later.

The league traditionally invites players who are projected to go in the first round. A league official said that even though Tebow could be a first-round selection, the new three-day draft format also motivated the NFL to double its invitation list from nine players in 2009 to 18 at next month's draft.

We all remember Brady Quinn being completely dogged (with perfect reasoning) on draft day. It's pretty sad when you're the last kid picked in dodgeball and Jamarcus Russell is picked first.

You know some team will feel sorry for Tebow and tout his great leadership and aptitude for being a "winner" as their prime motivation for choosing him.

Then again, I think I could be a winner too if my team consisted of the best players from around the country year in and year out.

And now we take a look back at what draft day is all about. What tight end will the Jets draft this year?

Ron Paul sons Ben Bernanke

2010-03-18T10:01:00.001-04:00

ZeroHedge "Well you need some system to set the money supply. I guess you are a gold standard supporter." At this point Paul gives the most priceless response ever: "I am for the constitution."

Another Fat Bitch

2010-03-15T20:49:00.006-04:00

Fox News A New Jersey woman say's her life's goal is to weigh more than Rex Ryan.

Simpson, of Old Bridge, N.J., is 42 years old, has two kids and a boyfriend, and she weighs 602 pounds. That's right ... 602 pounds.

She's on a diet, of course, because she has a goal in mind:

She wants to weigh 1,000 pounds.

I think I speak for everyone when I say, do us a favor and just kill yourself now. If I have to subsidize your healthcare costs next year because of your blatant disrespect for human decency I will leave this state and country.

Simpson claims she is normal and healthy, and she has a right to eat what she wants and weigh what she wants.

“I love eating and people love watching me eat,” she says. “It makes people happy, and I’m not harming anyone.”

Good to know not only are you disgusting but delusional. No one LOVES watching a fat whale stuff their face. The only sense of amusement I'd get would be watching your fat gullet choke on some french fries.

Simpson’s main source of income to support herself financially is by appearing on a Web site where men pay to watch videos of her gorging on food and showing off her hundreds of pounds of extra bulge in a bikini.

This severely disturbs me even more. Who is more disgusting, you or the freaks that actually pay to watch err, I can't even type the words let alone speak them.

God help us all.

Here is a picture of hot chicks just to save your imaginations.

NCAA Basketball Bracket

2010-03-14T22:55:00.002-04:00

March Madness is back.

Sheer Incompetence

2010-03-14T09:32:00.003-04:00

How is there this much discrepancy in common sense in our government?

Great Moments in Hookup History: The Planted Threat

2010-03-11T00:46:00.002-05:00

Sometimes science and luck can combine to produce wonderful results. Such was the case for myself last month. The result - another Great Moment in Hookup History.

The Situation: I am out to a club for a friend of a friend of a friend's birthday. That's right, I do public appearances at parties for 7 Gs too. I am with a sizable group of guys and girls. A budding chemistry, between myself and one of the girls who is in the group, has existed for quite some time However, she is basically married - boyfriend who is not with the group tonight. Naturally, she and I are kicking it and dancing, part of my long-standing quest to woo her, part of my quest to leverage the fact that a girl likes standing next to and talking to me into a segway (not segue) with various other female club patrons.

Meanwhile, I had been in touch with a different girl, one I knew from college, who was in town at the moment. She is a superfine girl that I should have pursued more when I had the chance, but college was a hazy time. This girl is very desirable to me - personality and looks both to extraordinary specifications. I looked forward to getting a second chance at making something happen, and she obliged by meeting me at the club.

The Science: This past year, researchers have confirmed through experimentation a phenomenon most of us already had some degree of belief in and/or experience with. Women want what other women have. Plain and simple. You got a girlfriend, you are instantly more attractive to every other girl. It's astonishing, but it's science. In the linked study, women were shown pictures of men and asked if they were interested in pursuing them. For some of the women a group of the men were identified as single and for other women that same group of men was identified as in a relationship. 59% of the women were interested in pursuing the men when they were described as single but 90% were interested in pursuing when those same men were described as attached!!!!! 90 freaking percent!! Oh yea, relationship status had absolutely no effect on men's perceptions of women. Take it from science ladies, no boyfriend will ever make you hotter.

The Luck: As soon as my "girl from college" arrived on the scene, we immediately hit it off - no surprise since we had been good friends. My "attached but still some chemistry girl" must have gotten a wee bit jealous. I learned that there had been an "incident." (NOTE: I learned of the following a full week after the shit went down when a friend of mine fortuitously got drunk and declassified the info)

"Chemistry Girl" was in the bathroom when "College Girl" walked in, looking for her drunk friend. "Chemistry Girl" proceeded to get all up in "College Girl's" grill, looking to throwdown Undercover Brother/Denise Richards style. The details are still emerging, but my name was mentioned as well as a torrent of menacing remarks. (and probably some hisses, hairpulling, clothes ripping...actually I only wish all that happened)

The Moment: "College Girl" emerged unscathed, her being the prevailing cooler head. Without going into detail, Dave Chapelle would be proud of what transpired thereafter - a Great Moment in Hookup History!

The Lesson: Make friends with a girl, bring her out to clubs, pretend she is your g/f, ex, friend w/ benefits, whatever. Once you find a classy lady you would like to get to know a little better, or grind up on - whatever is your steez - then tell your friend to threaten a catfight. The girl you desire will at least like you 31% more than when she thought you were single, if not leading to a full-on hookup.

The Sponsor: This Great Moment in Hookup History was brought to you by supercollar® - the dog collar with a retractable dog leash that gives you a fast and easy way to control your dog!

PETA should shut the fuck up

2010-03-10T18:14:00.004-05:00

AOL News PETA may be the biggest crock of shit. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals notoriously shout to the high heavens and crucify anyone even at the hint of animal cruelty. One thing they don't mention is that they are just as guilty as Michael Vick.

The organization euthanizes over 90 percent of the dogs and cats relinquished to its headquarters in Norfolk, Va. In 2009, PETA euthanized 2,301 dogs and cats -- 97 percent of those brought in -- and adopted only eight, according to Virginia state figures. And the rate of these killings has been increasing. From 2004 to 2008, euthanasia at PETA increased by 10 percent.

How do you even justify those statistics you? And don't give me that bullshit that you are not an adoption agency, but rather a "shelter of last resort." That sounds like true compassion doesn't it? How about next time you decide to man the picket lines with your empty rhetoric, you spend that time trying to actually do your job. Don't you ever guilt trip me with Sarah McLachlan ballads because I can't adopt an innocent animal ever again.

And now that I've settled down. Tits.

Health Care Crisis (?)

2010-03-09T21:30:00.010-05:00

Funniest shit I've seen in a minute. Einstein fucked Snooki and Cam'ron raised the baby.

Aint nobody want cold pepperoni in they hot pockets

Best TV Show Since Girls Next Door

2010-03-09T17:12:00.010-05:00

France is clearly just trying to get its D wet.

Feast your eyes on France's Fort Boyard's cleavage...I mean, climbing challenge:

I'm now over the whole French fries-freedom fries thing.

1 Year Anniversary of S&P 666

2010-03-09T15:49:00.005-05:00

Today we take a look back at what the so-called experts and so-called gloom and doomers were saying just one year ago. Full Disclosure: My portfolio is heavily weighted in fiat currencies and paper contracts that read "FUCKED."

Most people have fond recollections of where they were when significant historical events took place. Most of us can remember 9/11 vividly. Others can't forget when Bill Clinton got blown under his desk. Some can even remember the first moonwalk. Michael Jackson's that is.

However, when that fateful day arrived and the market crashed, ATF was nowhere to be found. We were entrenched in our own fiscal crisis. Just how do we allow our credit card companies to give us an extra line of credit at 4AM for strippers/hookers in Vegas? Needless to say, the kindly obliged us.

Porn, Corn, and Rubber

2010-03-07T12:55:00.002-05:00

Now I know what you're thinking that these three can not possibly mix well; Porn, Corn, and Rubber, cause well lets face it who uses rubbers anymore? Well the goddess of food herself (and blow jobs), Rachael Ray was able to seamlessly fuse all three elements into a sensual tease,however, in my opinion she seemed a little rough with it. If she ever wants to get up to Briana Bank's level she will definitely need a better teacher than a 75 year old woman who uses New Jersey's 3rd largest cash crop for a means of stimulation. Like the enthusiasm though.

Most Badass Best Actor Winners (past 50 years)

2010-03-06T18:48:00.002-05:00

Daniel Day-Lewis - Daniel Plainview - There Will Be Blood - 2007
Badass Kills: 1, Henry, man who pretends to be Plainview’s brother
Badass Quotes: “I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.”
“I…drink…your…milkshake!”
Badass Cake: The last scenes play out in Plainview’s mansion, equipped with bowling alley…and presumably a milkshake machine. That’s what oil money can buy…a bowling alley.
Most Badass Moment: In the beginning of the movie, Plainview breaks his leg while working at a silver mine. When he finally does find the silver, he drags himself all the way into town to sell it.

Denzel Washington - Alonzo Harris - Training Day - 2001
Badass Broads: His jumpoff was Eva Mendes…all I gotta say is DAYUMMM.
Badass Kills: 1, Roger
Badass quotes: “To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf.”
“King Kong ain't got shit on me!”
“Didn't know you liked to get wet, dog.”
Most Badass Moment: The scene when Jake finally realizes the set-up, robbery and killing of Roger. Ruthless and calculated to a T.

Russell Crowe - Maximus Decimus Meridius - Gladiator - 2000
Badass Kills - At least 50, counting the opening battle scene and all of the gladiator fights, as well as the final hit on Commodus
Badass Quotes: “Are you not entertained?”
“I am required to kill, so I kill. That is enough.”
Most Badass Moment: Killing his own executioners.

Al Pacino - Lt. Col. Frank Slade - Scent of a Woman - 1992
Badass Broads: He definitely could have taken down the girl that tangoed with him in the restaurant. Plus there is the meeting with the prostitute and the teacher who he snipes right at the end. AGAIN, remember, this dude is over 50 and BLIND.
Badass Quotes: “Yes, Mr Sims, there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy. Hah! Are you listenin' to me, son? I'm givin' ya pearls here.” “When in doubt... fuck.”
Most Badass Moments: 1) Driving a lambo around NYC, blind, at 100mph and convincing the cop that pulled him over to go away. 2) Unleashing one hell of a verbal smack down on the headmaster of Charlie’s school.

Michael Douglas - Gordon Gekko - Wall Street - 1987
Badass Kills: deadweight jobs
Badass Broads: Daryl Hannah, before AND after Buddy Fox
Badass Cake: Do we even really need to go into details here. He’s LIQUID sonnnn!
Badass Quotes: “When I get a hold of the son of a bitch who leaked this, I'm gonna tear his eyeballs out and I'm gonna suck his fucking skull.”
“I create nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal. The news, war, peace, famine, upheaval, the price per paper clip. We pick that rabbit out of the hat while everybody sits out there wondering how the hell we did it.”
“The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind.”
Most Badass Moment: The Greed is Good speech at the Teldar stockholder’s meeting

Robert De Niro - Jake LaMotta - Raging Bull - 1980
Badass Beatdowns: countless, best is the Janiro fight - “he ain’t pretty no more.”
Badass Quotes: “You punch like you take it up the ass.”
“I'm gonna open his hole like this. Please excuse my French. I'm gonna make him suffer. I'm gonna make his mother wish she never had him - make him into dog meat...”
Most Badass Moment: Beating Sugar Ray

Jack Nicholson - R.P. MacMurphy - One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest - 1975
Badass Broads: Convinces party girls Candy and Rose to smuggle in alcohol and pimps out Candy to spend a night with little brother figure Billy.
Badass Quotes: “They was giving me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and I'm hot to trot! The next woman takes me on's gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!”
“Is that crazy enough for ya'? Want me to take a shit on the floor?”
“Well I don't wanna break up the meeting or nothin', but she's somethin' of a cunt, ain't she Doc?”
Most Badass Moment: Tie between breaking out on the fishing trip and trying to strangle Nurse Ratched after she basically causes Billy to kill himself.

Gene Hackman - Jimmy “Popeye” Doyle - The French Connection - 1971
Badass Kills - 2, Nicoli and Agent Mulderig (that second one was inadvertent but he was a huge D-Bag the whole movie so it wasn’t very tragic)
Badass Broads: During one great scene, Popeye’s partner walks into Popeye’s apartment room and there is a chick trying to get her shit together for the inevitable walk of shame…through the Bed-Stuy projects.
Most Badass Moment: The entire car-subway chase scene might still be the best chase scene ever. To top it off, Popeye wastes Nicoli as the chase comes to an end.

George C. Scott - Gen. George S. Patton, Jr. - Patton - 1970
Badass Kills - Responsible for many thousands of dead nazis
Badass Quotes: “Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.”
“When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do.”
“Well, I'm my favorite General. I don't want to be told that some second stringer is up against me; Then I lose face.”
Most Badass Moment: Tie between the opening speech and slapping the shit out of a coward soldier in the infirmary tent.

John Wayne - Rooster J. Cogburn - True Grit - 1969
Badass Kills: 6
Badass Quotes: “I mean to kill you in one minute, Ned. Or see you hanged in Fort Smith at Judge Parker's convenience. Which'll it be?”
“Baby sister, I was born game and I intend to go out that way.”
Goudy: “That was not the question. How many?”
Rooster Cogburn: “Uh... shot or killed?”
Most badass moment: When Rooster takes on Ned Pepper and three other guys and nearly kills them all

Honorable Mentions
Anthony Hopkins - Hannibal Lecter - Silence of the Lambs - 1991 (being batshit crazy doesn’t quite make you badass enough for this list)
Marlon Brando - Don Vito Corleone - The Godfather - 1972 (declined the award, not to mention Michael was the more badass Don Corleone)
Forrest Whitaker - Idi Amin - The Last King of Scotland - 2006 (wasn’t badass, just plain old BAD)

ATF in Hoboken for some Irish holiday

2010-03-06T11:55:00.006-05:00

Apparently drinking and pissing in public are arrestable offences in Frank Sinatra's home town. Wish me luck.

Also, I read in the Wall Street Journal that MetroPCSis the best cell phone company.

Good Friday

2010-03-04T21:19:00.005-05:00

I know Fridays you are not supposed to eat meat, but how can you resist this Grade A Top Choice? Happy Friday!...Of course you can always opt for the pink taco

AfterTheFrat Oscar Picks

2010-03-04T09:02:00.003-05:00

I know the Oscar's are pretty much just something read about the day after the ceremony for anyone who's not in Hollywood or is not a freak movie blogger who still lives with his parents and got the shit beat out of him by Jay and Silent Bob. However, I love movies. I would rather spend three hours watching an awards ceremony that is somewhat entertaining and certainly more culturally significant than, say, spending three hours watching the state of the union address. For real, all of the people who have spent the last year rabidly following the updates on health care reform (you know who you are - I don't appreciate your whining through facebook updates), how much better off are you for it?? I basically ignored the issue except when I happened to catch headlines on the Onion and I pretty much know as much relevant information as you do - it's not gonna pass. Instead, if you took the time to watch some of the great movies of the year, you would have been entertained, and probably motivated to get off your ass and create something or make a difference rather than constantly read what your idol Senator just said and reposting it to your twitter feed with some witticism to make yourself feel smarter than you are. Not to mention, there are a bunch of great Oscar watching drinking games -- alcohol....what can I say about you that hasn't been already said about pussy. Without further ado:

Best Picture: The Hurt Locker

This is hands down the best movie made this year. I don't care how much money it didn't make. I don't care that a woman made it. Actually, it's pretty freaking impressive that a woman made an action movie this intense. Props Title IX.
The Locker has many essential ingredients of a great film. The set-up and the screen play are perfect. It tells a story and sticks to it, uncovering every detail and painting a complete picture of the horrors of war. It is the most tense, edge-of-your-seat movie to come out in a long time, and the action goes from wire to wire. Literally, my heart was pounding just about the entire time. I would NOT recommend anyone with a pace-maker watch this movie. Finally, it tells a story and allows you to draw your own conclusions, politically that is. This is not some anti-war or pro-war Michael Moore bloviation piece. It's an in your face look at what the bomb squads are dealing with in Iraq and no more, and certainly no less.

Best Actor: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart

I think we've all been waiting for him to give an Oscar-worthy performance to reward ever since everyone realized how awesome of a movie the Big Lebowski is. Bridges plays the broken down man but still manages to be a sav. His best performance may have actually been in pretending to be attracted to Maggie Gyllenhall, she's uglier than Buzz's girlfriend. Anyone who can make that seem believable (sorry Christian Bale, the whole time during Dark Knight I really thought you were gonna take the chainsaw to her) deserves an award for best actor.

Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz

No surprise here, Waltz has been the overwhelming favorite since even before the nominees were announced. He better have already cleared space on his mantle for the gold dude. Waltz's Col. Hans Landa is the most savage villian since Anton Chigurh. You can't deny that it's partly/mostly due to Tarantino's screenwriting and directorial prowess, but someone has to translate the words into action, and Waltz does so with a blood-curdling evilness. Partly because it's a Tarantino movie and partly because he played a Nazi, whose bloodthirsty savageries are well-documented, I kept half-expecting Waltz to flip out in a murderous rage and start eating people Hannibal Lecter style or cutting them up with axes a la Pat Bateman. However, I must admit that the greatness of this character is due to his under-control, calculating nature coupled with his relentlessness. But, we can maybe breathe more easily, because Brad Pitt DID gave him something he can't take off.

Best Actress: Anybody BUT Sandra Bullock

She's overrated. She plays a stuck-up trophy wife - how hard is that? Just cast someone from Real Housewives. And didn't she already do it in Crash? She's benefitting from a weak candidate pool (Meryl Streep AGAIN??). She is benefiting from the fact that there just are a dearth of good movies with strong female leads. Whatever, it's been pretty much downhill since Speed 2: Cruise Control. Give it to the fat black chick. Or is that not cool/noteworthy anymore?

COMING FRIDAY: MOST BADASS BEST ACTOR WINNERS

COMING SATURDAY: MOST BADASS BEST PICTURE WINNERS

Republicans say the darndest things

2010-03-03T23:45:00.003-05:00

2 words: grimeyness

McDonald's is Wildin

2010-03-03T22:06:00.002-05:00

Over the past year or so, McDonald's has had some very interesting commercials. I wonder who they're trying to reach out to. I mean the ad is about CHICKEN, and it's FRIED. C'mon man!!! Why don't you just make him a ball player while you're at it? Here are two commercials that specifically come to mind.

This one came out a little over a year ago:

Apparently, they found some success with this broke ass Ne-Yo and decided to make this follow-up. This one made it to TV within the last month or so:

These ads are mad corny. "You got a 10 piece girl, don't be sting-ayyyy." Haha, this shit is a joke.

UPDATED: Ultra Music Festival in 23 Days

2010-03-03T22:00:00.003-05:00

Music Lovers rejoice. In 23 days time the ATF team will be in sunny South Beach Miami for a four days of debauchery. Winter Music Conference takes place the week of March 23 in South Beach, highlighted by Friday and Saturday's Ultra Music Festival.

This year's lineup does not disappoint with the biggest names in electronic music from around the world. Names such as Tiesto, Guetta, Eric Prydz, Carl Cox, Swedish House Mafia, Deadmau5, Armin Van Buuren, Above & Beyond are all on the turntables with the sounds to make your head explode.

ATF's itinerary consists of the following thus far:

Steve Angello's Pool Party - Thursday, March 25 @ Eden Roc Hotel
UPDATED: Sebastian Ingrosso & Friends - Thursday, March 25 @ Set
Ultra Music Festival Day 1 - Friday, March 26 @ Bicentennial Park
UPDATED: PAUL VAN DYK presents 10 yrs of VANDIT Records w/ Sander Van Doorn - Friday, March 26 @ Space
Ultra Music Festival Day 2 - Saturday, March 27 @ Bicentennial Park
Ferry Corsten, Cosmic Gate, Solarstone, Sied van Riel - Saturday, March 27 @ Karu & Y

We will be providing detailed descriptions of our trip as live as we can and as raw as we can. We look forward to four days of pure sex, drugs, and house.

The countdown has officially begun people and we want to see you all there. If you plan to attend drop us a line, share your stories, and discuss what you're pumped for.

While you're dreaming of Miami, enjoy the sick sound of one of the newest aspiring young DJs in the game today. DJ LV

Get Drunk Without the Hangover - a Breakthrough

2010-03-03T11:42:00.004-05:00

How many times have we heard this before?? Just about every guys' lifestyle or health magazine has run a feature on how to minimize the effects of alcohol - drink slower, drink less, drink only beer, drink only liquor, go on a white wine regimen, drink a glass of water with every alcoholic drink. The problem with these solutions is it takes effort to consciously follow the program: I don't want drinking to be a strategic activity. In fact, I when I'm drinking I'm usually engaged in other strategic activities.

ALAS, Korean researchers have concluded that a certain type of alcohol, reinforced with oxygen, allows drinkers to sober up more quickly and experience fewer and less severe hangovers. They found the oxygen-infused 19.5% alcohol drinks (equivalent to a strong mixed drink) led to a 20 minute decrease in time till sober and subjectively less severe hangovers.

Here is the doctor himself, Dr. Kwang-il Kwon:

The oxygen-enriched alcohol beverage reduces plasma alcohol concentrations faster than a normal dissolved-oxygen alcohol beverage does. This could provide both clinical and real-life significance. The oxygen-enriched alcohol beverage would allow individuals to become sober faster, and reduce the side effects of acetaldehyde without a significant difference in alcohol's effects. Furthermore, the reduced time to a lower BAC may reduce alcohol-related accidents.

Translation: You can get wasted during happy hour, carry that through dinner to the club, and wake up the next day ready to short the shit out of Greek debt.

Problems this would solve: Begin to sober up in the cab ride home - never fall asleep with a condom on again...that shit hurts! Fewer hangovers - you won't get fired from zombie-ing at your job for the first 3 hours of each Friday.

Next Task: develop a no-hangover whiskey and I think these Koreans will be onto something.

Boy Scouts are the Breast!

2010-03-02T21:22:00.004-05:00

In order to serve the community these kids volunteered to look and feel titties all day. Funny, I had the same idea too only at my age it would cause a lawsuit. Perhaps if the Boy scouts were like this when I was a kid I would have dropped athletics and friendship altogether.

If women think a 12 year old can detect breast cancer in a dingy basement they should listen to Jon Lajoie.

Syracuse is College Basketball's Story of the Year

2010-03-02T18:23:00.005-05:00

After the drubbing Syracuse administered to Nova, it was a relief for me to see Syracuse take its rightful spot as the top-ranked team in the country. They play solid defense, can score a million different ways, run the floor as well as anyone, have a hall-of-fame coach, and are undefeated on the road. Their two losses were both weekend noon tip games, one the day after New Years and one on Valentine's Day (Boeheim had obligations sonnnn). Not to mention they play in the toughest conference in the country for the last 5 and the next 5 years at least.

In honor of the team's first #1 ranking in nearly 20 years, I will list the reasons why this team, final four or not, is the college basketball story of the year:

1. None of the current players were top 50 recruits. NONE! How many top 10 or even top 25 teams can you say that about, let alone the #1 team in the country! (not to mention unranked UNC) Wes Johnson was a complete unknown from Corsicana, TX - if you have seen No Country for Old Men then you know where that is. He didn't even have a HoopScoop or Rivals rating!! He bounced around prep schools and Iowa State before transferring to the Orange and becoming their leading scorer. Andy Rautins was also completely under the radar, HoopScoop rank = 751. Great story of local talent combined with hard work has this kid the 3-year starter, co-captain of a potential final four squad. 1,000 point scorer Arinze Onuaku was originally being recruited to play for powerhouse Kent State. Tough to get attention when you're on an AAU team with Jeff Green, Austin Freeman and Nolan Smith.

2. This team is the embodiment of the mantra "hard work pays off."

Andy Rautins

2005-06 --- 2.9 ppg, 0.9 rpg, 0.7 apg, 0.3 spg
2006-07 --- 7.2 ppg, 2.0 rpg, 1.5 apg, 1.3 spg
2008-09 --- 10.5 ppg, 3.3 rpg, 3.0 apg, 1.4 spg
2009-10 --- 11.8 ppg, 3.2 rpg, 4.8 apg, 2.1 spg
(Not to mention he had to sit out the 2007-08 season with an ACL tear)

Rick Jackson

2007-08 --- 3.7 ppg, 3.0 rpg, 1.3 bpg
2008-09 --- 8.3 ppg, 5.8 rpg, 1.6 bpg
2009-10 --- 10.3 ppg, 7.0 rpg, 2.1 bpg

Scoop Jardine

2007-08 --- 5.5 ppg, 1.5 rpg, 2.5 apg, .278 3pt%
2009-10 --- 8.0 ppg, 2.0 rpg, 4.0 apg, .371 3pt%

Also, Onuaku, Jardine, Rautins have all come back from season-ending injuries, AND Brandon Triche tore his ACL sophomore year of HS.

Hell, even Onuaku, whose minutes have decreased this year, improved his FT% from .298 last season to .444 this season!

3. We don't get no respect! Everyone started talking shit and writing them off when they lost Johnny Flynn and "lost" Eric Devendorf and Paul Harris. When they lost to D-II LeMoyne College in an early season exhibition game, hating on 'Cuse was almost as cool as hating on Sarah Palin. But they turned adversity into motivation. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a little for the sake of the storyline. I didn't see the LeMoyne game, but it is likely they took them VERY lightly. As in, I don't think the U.S.A. considers the chance of a Nicaraguan take-over as lightly. And I don't particularly care for advancing the "but they played man-to-man" theory, but that IS the hallmark of 'Cuse ball and they did play man that whole game.

4. Boeheim has never been coach of the year?? Somehow these guys have: Keno Davis, Tony Bennett, Larry Eustachy, Clem Haskins, Eddie Fogler. Riiiiiiiiiiight. Boeheim hasn't even had a scandal...just sayin'.

5. Just for good measure, the other contenders for best story of the season are weak. New Mexico is good this year...so what? Carolina and UCLA sucking is "what goes around comes around" as far as I'm concerned. Cornell abdicated its Cinderella throne when it lost in Ivy League play. And how long will it take for Calipari to leave Kentucky with the program suspended? The only story I will consider an honorable mention is Frank Martin's incredible job in rebuilding K-State post Michael Beasley. (maybe should also increase our praise for his work WITH Beasley.)

6. Oh yea...they done did this last Saturday night.

Mother Nature Shaun T'd the Sh*t out of Earth.

2010-03-02T18:12:00.005-05:00

The 7th largest ever recorded earthquake of a magnitude of 8.8 that recently occurred last week right off the coast of Chile, has had a devastating effect on our vacation times we plan on taking on in the future. According to scientists at NASA, they said that this earthquake shortened the length of an earth day by 1.26 milliseconds, and that it has knocked the earth off its axis by 3 inches. This just further provides more evidence that world is going to end in 2012, so take longer vacations, and f*ck mad b*tches.

Gold

2010-03-01T22:31:00.005-05:00

And it's not only what he says that makes him convincing, but also how he says it. Compare his demeanor to the actors on set asking questions. I have this eery feeling we'll be coming back to videos like this in 10 years with the proverbial hat in our collective hand. If we can afford it.

Insanity Day 10 Review

2010-03-01T21:43:00.004-05:00

So let's break this down. The first few days of the Insanity Workout were by far the most strenuous exercise we have done since actually playing sports. The Fit Test (8 minutes) had us dripping sweat and proved we had no idea what we were getting into.

Shaun T is no joke and this workout is definitely more advanced than first thought. You need nothing but your bodies and the videos which is a plus. Also, the ab workouts don't require any crunches or sit-ups but still make you feel shredded.

Max interval training is by far the most testing of all workouts we have tried and shows you what you are truly made of. Constant up downs, suicides, heismans, ski jumps, squats, you name it, will push you to your limit on the very first day. Once the soreness subsides you feel ready to take on the next workout.

That being said, we can already feel a vast difference not only in fitness level, but also flexibility and strength. Cardio is key in these workouts and you learn that very quickly. The reinforcement factor is also promising, as we feel much more motivated to continue the program in it's entirety.

A Tribute to The Kid: Ken Griffey Jr.

2010-02-28T18:17:00.006-05:00

In a sports world where scandal is synonymous with superstardom and popularity, Ken Griffey Jr. just may be the least relevant and unpopular of athletes. Not marred by steroid allegations or engulfed in a firestorm of infidelity, Junior is still known around the clubhouse as "The Kid" even at the ripe old age of 40. Now, in the twilight of his hall of fame career, Junior will undoubtedly leave Seattle and the baseball world with a huge void to fill.

Never once has Junior's name been dropped on the massive list of dopers and cheaters. We could question all day the validity of the various home run records, MVP awards, and money made by those who "saved" baseball. However, baseball never needed to be saved by juiced up meatheads. The sport became stagnant with only one true gem of an athlete. Junior gave everything he had to baseball until he literally couldn't stand anymore. The mid 90's were the decade of Ken Griffey Jr.

With one of the purest strokes in baseball history, Ken Griffey Jr. has subtly moved his way to #5 on the home run list with 630. The list of records and statistics go on forever along with the questions if he could have been the all-time champ. At this point, it doesn't even matter. His defensive prowess is also renowned. Junior was named to the 1999 All Century Team in only his 10th year as a professional. Absolutely mind-boggling (entering the league at the age of 19). The only other active players included the great Cal Ripken Jr. would would retire two years later, and cheaters Roger Clemens and Mark McGwire.

Even when he left for his hometown Cincinnati Reds for eight seasons, Seattle's hierarchy never issued the #24 in hopes that Junior would return someday. This act of respect for what Ken Griffey Jr. brought to the game of baseball is one of the ultimate compliments an athlete can receive.

Finally, on a more simplistic note, who can forget the scene at each All-Star Game and Home Run Derby. Junior and son Trey would share childish gazes of wonder as baseballs were blasted out of the park. It was never about money as Junior would often offer to take pay cuts to keep talent around him. He was also an ambassador for Ichiro's entrance into the Seattle spotlight. You can't help but root for a guy who did all the right things and still has yet to play in a World Series.

Junior brought purity to a game that is now tainted with a perpetual feeling of paranoia and uncertainty. He will surely be missed when the time comes.

Condom Shortage at the Olympics

2010-02-28T14:55:00.008-05:00

Hahaha..

Health officials in Vancouver have already provided 100,000 free condoms to the roughly 7,000 ahtletes and officials at the Games. That's about 14 condoms per person. But as of Wednesday, those supplies started running dangerously low.

My only question is, why even need them?

Remember When Lil Wayne Wasnt so Passe

2010-02-25T22:57:00.002-05:00

Yea, he fell off hard (not as hard as the Knicks in the playoff race), but old Weezy is still good Weezy.

BTW what the fucks with Def Jam signing Shyne for mad (I MEAN MAD) Money. That cats been out of the game for so long. And he kinda was never even on. Shout out to Diddy.

Ultra Music Festival in 30 days

2010-02-24T19:58:00.015-05:00

Music Lovers rejoice. In 30 days time the ATF team will be in sunny South Beach Miami for a four days of debauchery. Winter Music Conference takes place the week of March 23 in South Beach, highlighted by Friday and Saturday's Ultra Music Festival.

Steve Angello's Pool Party - Thursday, March 25 @ Eden Roc Hotel
UPDATED: Sebastian Ingrosso & Friends - Thursday, March 25 @ Set
Ultra Music Festival Day 1 - Friday, March 26 @ Bicentennial Park
UPDATED: PAUL VAN DYK presents 10 yrs of VANDIT Records w/ Sander Van Doorn - Friday, March 26 @ Space
Ultra Music Festival Day 2 - Saturday, March 27 @ Bicentennial Park
Ferry Corsten, Cosmic Gate, Solarstone, Sied van Riel - Saturday, March 27 @ Karu & Y

While you're dreaming of Miami, enjoy the sick sound of one of the newest aspiring young DJs in the game today. DJ LV

Obesity saves a life. For now.

2010-02-24T09:30:00.006-05:00

This 35 year old sexy piece was the victim of a stray bullet that pierced her flab in an Atlantic City bar this past weekend.

Miraculously she survived because she could barely feel the bullet wound. Samantha Lynn Frazier now has a new goal in her life.

"I want to be as big as I can if it's going to stop a bullet." she said.

That's a good attitude. For some reason the powers that be granted you a second chance at life, but you would rather slap God in the face.

I will be purchasing stock in McDonaldsas of this morning.

Ashley Cole is a moron

2010-02-23T20:56:00.003-05:00

Now I know we have been in support of Tiger Woods over the past few months, but Ashley Cole is seriously nuts. It has been rumored that the Chelsea star defender has been unfaithful to his goddess wife and apparently for some pig.

The Cole's may not be a household name in the states, but in Europe they are as relevant as any high profile celebrity couple.

We can only hope Cheryl makes her way to the US permanently to grace us with her presence. If you need more convincing, FHM voted her sexiest woman of 2009 beating out Megan Fox.

Amber Lancaster come on down!!

2010-02-23T19:58:00.007-05:00

Here is another hot girl you've never heard of unless you're lucky enough to be a senior citizen or have a day off from school.

The Price is Right is one of the few original national treasures we have left even if Drew Carey hosts the show. I still think that is Bob Barker in a Drew Carey fat suit but that's my opinion.

She is currently dating D list former TV actor Zach Gilford from Friday Night Lights.

Looks like there is no shortage of people undeserving of their girlfriends/wives. See Andy NoDick

Amber Lancaster is by far the hottest model on the show and probably the reason the show doesn't need to advertise viagra yet.

Also check out the dumbest contestant in the history of The Price is Right. Absolutely hysterical.

The Hottest Indian MILF

2010-02-22T23:39:00.004-05:00

Padma Lakshmi gave birth to a baby girl today. This brown sex bomb is without a doubt India's sexiest milf.

Chargers release their crybaby RB

2010-02-22T20:31:00.003-05:00

Good riddance LaDainian Tomlinson. Now LT's main goal is to win a championship. Maybe you should have showed up to your multiple playoff games over the past 9 years instead of pouting on the sidelines like a 6-year old.

Take a lesson from your former QB. Phillip Rivers managed to gut out a superb playoff game on a torn ACL, that later took 6 months of rehab, while you nursed your vag on the sideline. We all remember the infamous image with your jacket on, visor down.

If you wanted to win a Super Bowl so bad you would have taken a seat on the bench sooner and let Darren Sproles touch the rock.

Sulk a little more LT. You will be forever remembered as one of the best fantasy football running backs of all time. Nothing less, nothing more.

Rutgers joining the future of education

2010-02-21T17:44:00.007-05:00

It is only a matter of time before online education breaches into customary in-class education's territory. Rutgers University, the eighth oldest college in the country, is now delving into the most innovative market for education.

More than 4.6 million post-secondary students, or 1 in 4, took at least one class via the internet last fall. That’s up 17 percent in just a year, according to the Sloan Consortium, a nonprofit group geared to integrating online education into the mainstream of higher education.

Post-secondary education via the Internet only seems destined for future growth. Busy professionals will seek customized course schedules to compete in a vastly different and dynamic job market.

Additionally, it seems as though 10% unemployment will be here for the long haul, thus forcing the average job seeker to acquire further certification.

Although there is no financial benefit for students to take online classes, many consider the comforts of home and customized class scheduling all the added value they need.

What we are doing now: Shaun T Insanity workout

2010-02-21T13:41:00.006-05:00

We will be providing weekly updates of our progress of Shaun T's Insanity workout. So far we have completed the fit test and the first two days of actual workouts. This max interval training is no joke and we currently have little ability to walk.

Stay current next weekend for a full week's worth of updates and progress. 60 days of pure hell sounds like fun if you ask me. If you would like to participate or are attempting any other P90X-like regimes and would like to have your progress posted, hit us up at afterthefrat@gmail.com.

Full Disclosure: We are former high school athletes that went through 4 years of college with the normal consumption of booze, pot, and late night fast food binges. If we can do it, you can too! Just remember...GTL baby.

Baseball players are the worst conditioned athletes

2010-02-21T11:24:00.008-05:00

I guess a full year of rest and rehab isn't enough for Carlos Delgado to get fit to stand at first base. His agent has told reporters that the 37 year old Met's first baseman will undergo a second hip surgery that will sideline him for another four months. It's funny how these timetables are absolutely irrelevant.

Flip the calendar forward exactly 10 weeks and draw a circle on the date -- three days shy of baseball's non-waiver Trading Deadline.

That really panned out well for the Mets last season. Just another example of poor general management and dedication to the franchise. Does the name J.J. Putz mean anything?

After an offseason of grasping at straws for more pitching, the Met's have done little to assert themselves in the free agency market. Jason Bay was the big acquisition, but we all know big time hitters looking for a new contract will do just about anything to put up stellar numbers. So to expect the same type of production will be foolish.

Now David Wright and Johan believe they will win the World Series. "My plan is definitely to win the World Series," said Johan Santana while Wright replied, "We feel like we're going to go out there and win the National League East and go deep in the playoffs and win the World Series."

I'm all in favor of instilling confidence in your club. But let's be real. The Phillies run the East and the entire National League. Get out of the basement before your start yapping. Better yet, try not to get swept by the Nationals this year; a team whose management made far more strides in the offseason than Omar Minaya's pedestrian ass.

The Amazin's still have faith in a GM that is notorious for sending talent out of town instead of bringing it in. Jason Bay, Cliff Lee, Grady Sizemore...any more questions?

More proof that what you spend for your team does not yield instant success. You must have a brain first.

Bill Walker

2010-02-19T22:53:00.001-05:00

Nate who?

And for good measure..

Sex addict rehab is a great place to meet hot sluts

2010-02-19T20:44:00.005-05:00

I'm not even going to allude to it with some cheesy jokes or stupid metaphor.. this shit was mad fake. Completely scripted.

He. does. not. give. a. fuck.

Atta tiger, tiger.

Donnie Walsh is a Genius

2010-02-18T20:32:00.020-05:00

Ok, so maybe not as smart as Daryl Morey (who obtained Reggie Miller 2.o, lottery pick Jordan Hill for overachieving second rounder Carl Landry, point guard stopper Jared Jeffries--laugh after you think about Aaron Brooks trying to guard Chauncey Billups in the playoffs-- and some first rounders at the deadline). But for fuck's sake, Walsh went into battle with a squad whose last win was in a dunk contest and emerged with enough cap space for 2 max contracts and a guard that is the key to unlocking Mike D'Antoni's simple yet complex offense. And they got T-Mac. Right about now your head might be spinning, but stay with me for a minute.

1. The Knicks are now the only team who can tell any of the four free agents deserving of a max contract (Lebron, D-Wade, Bosh, Amare), to "pick your sidekick". This is a powerful recruiting tool, especially when the Clippers are going to tell their max target to "pick your coach". I dont want to hear any of this BS claiming the Knicks won't have the money to offer two max deals, this argument presumes the salary cap will fall by 16%.

2. The only way #1 could be achieved was by trading away Jeffries, the Knicks best defensive player. For a team whose offense is average and defense is poor, a trade that sacrifices defense for offense will not result in substantial improvement for the next 30 games. In effect, Walsh has mailed in the rest of this season. You can't really blame him, seeing as how a recent Monte Carlo simulation of how the rest of the NBA season plays out gives the Knicks a one half of one percent chance of making the playoffs this year (with an 8th seed, to face the Cavs in the first round). This was before the Knicks lost their last two to Chicago and fell 7.5 games out of the 8th playoff spot with 29 games remaining. Note: After 2 sad bulls losses, chances are zero. Now, here is where we see the genius in Walsh. He just traded for T-Mac! This allows him to effectively fold the 2009-2010 season without a beat writer, pundit, fan, or season ticket holder calling him out on it. How could they? They just got T-Mac! This is a textbook "appease the masses while executing the objectives of those in power" move pulled off to perfection. Ronald Reagan would be proud.

3. Tracy McGrady is a NBA superstar. Adidas and their lifetime endorsement contract with him cements this fact. So does the > $170 million he has made in salary in his 12 years in the league. The common wisdom used to be that a superstar would instantly bolt to New York because broadway would instantly raise this players profile. This was circa 2008. 2009 rolls around, the rest of the country finally wakes up from its Wall Street roofie party with a "take morning after pill" note by its side, and New York loses its luster. The common wisdom suddenly becomes "in this internet era a player can be an international icon as long as he has a connection to the network". So which is it? Well speculators, this T-Mac signing will be a live social experiment (without involving the Gotham City Ferry). Will a player achieve greater fame and fortune playing in New York? We commonfolk might get a sense of the answer by the number of porn stars he knocks up, but Leon Rose will definitely know the answer. My bet? New York > every other city on the planet (save London which is too close to call right now) in all aspects. Therefore, Frank Sinatra's words ring true (and not just in the obvious way - think Ayn Rand). In sum, Donnie is basically saying, "max contract player, look over here for the next 3 months, see what happens to T-Mac. And hes washed up! Imagine what will happen to you when you end this city's 38 year NBA championship drought."

4. The most important player the Knicks traded for today was Sergio Rodriguez. D'Antoni is a huge fan and has a knack for picking talented point guards to run his offense. S-Rod is very good, only 24, won a silver medal with Spain in the 2008 Olympics, plays with swagger that is sorely lacking from Chris Duhon's game (not to mention quickness, defensive intensity, and a jump shot), and is cheap ($2 mil qualifying offer next year). The best part about this is that Knicks fans and the New York media still think this trade is about Tracy McGrady! Sergio Rodriguez in their minds is a throw away player that was included to make the contracts work. For a player that is supposed to assume an immensely important position on this team, he comes in with absolutely no pressure or expectation to perform (which is magnified in New York and can prove to be the ruination of a talented athlete, just ask Jose Contreras). Sergio can come in and improve at his own pace, all the while keeping expectations low so that when he plays well (as I suspect he will) fans and beat writers will appreciate it. It's about managing expectations, and Donnie Walsh is proving to be a master.

5. Finally, even if the Knicks completely strike out - no max contract caliber player signings, Sergio Rodriguez is a failure, Tracy McGrady pulls a gun on a fan - they are still in better shape today than they were yesterday or at any point last decade. With a nucleus of David Lee (26), Danilo Gallinari (21), Wilson Chandler (22), and Toney Douglas (21) and > $30 million to make further improvements, the Knicks are already in position to contend for a playoff birth next season. This sure as hell beats over-paid, over-hyped, and over-blunted veterans who could only produce 40 wins per season at maximum.

Oh yea, and Eddy Curry's $11 million contract comes off the books in 2011 just in time for Carmelo and Kevin Durant.

Brandon Flowers' (The Killers) Mother passes away

2010-02-17T16:50:00.003-05:00

Lead frontman for the Killers, Brandon Flowers' mother passed away from brain cancer earlier this week (Spin). The band had canceled previous concerts in Asia over the past few month, and there is no word if they will play their upcoming shows in Australia. We wish the Flowers family all the best.

Other rumors had circulated that the band would potentially part ways after their tour. We can only hope these are just rumors. The Killer's music is not your typical mind-numbing, pop-rock, repetitious radio jargon. Rather, Flowers and company have produced some of the most inquisitive, thought provoking lyrics of the past decade. Haunting and airy melodies along with a powerful onstage presence provide their fans with the most unique musical experiences imaginable.

The Killers boast a 4.7/5 for reviews of their shows on Ticketmaster:

Every second was unbelievable. Brandon Flower's energy and voice were spot-on. He was a much better performer than I expected, and I had high expectations!

The band exuded an energy throughout the whole show! I can't wait to see them again. Definitely made it into my Top 5 concerts of all time...And I've been to many many concerts. They are truely talented not just a 'studio band'.

I LOOOVE LOVE Luv the Killers!!! and THE house was PACKED NOT 1 seat available & EVERY1 was enthralled!

If you don't believe everyone else. Check out "Spaceman" from their Live from Royal Albert Hall in London.

Sarah Palin vs. Lisa Ann

2010-02-16T22:04:00.012-05:00

Rock the vote people. Rock the vote. Ehh ehhhh, ehh ehhhh.

formspring.me

2010-02-16T21:24:00.001-05:00

how do you smoke a wet roach?

Hopefully you're already high enough to figure that out.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-02-16T21:22:00.001-05:00

So what do you do when the condom breaks?

Morning after pill and pray

Ask me anything

What's really good

2010-02-16T21:20:00.004-05:00

John Mayer is still a 32 year old douchebag.

I'd rather see Lindsey Vonn wearing this as she skis.

This is pretty fucked up.

The real reason men don't wear condoms.

This is even more fucked up.

Alicia Keys is hot. Jay-Z is sell out.

Darrell Green runs a 4.43 40. He's also 50.

formspring.me

2010-02-16T21:18:00.001-05:00

What was the worst movie you've ever seen?

I'd rather not watch bad movies...but the Godfather did nothing for me.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-02-16T21:14:00.001-05:00

If you could be a star athlete in any sport, which sport would you pick?

Tom Beckham/David Brady

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-02-16T21:13:00.001-05:00

If you could go on vacation for the next month with an unlimited budget, where would you go?

Start off in LA, quick week in Vegas, hop over to Miami for Winter Music Conference. Then spend the rest of the month in Ibiza. Then rest in peace.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-02-16T21:12:00.001-05:00

I love miley cyrus, when will we see new hot pics of her?

As long as she's a celebrity there will be no shortage of creepy photos.

Ask me anything

What were you doing at 16 years old?

2010-02-16T17:04:00.003-05:00

Manchester United just finished dealing AC Milan a devastating home loss (3-2) in the Champion's League today. Wayne Rooney currently leads all goal scorers in the Premiership with 21. And today, Rooney notched two impressive goals, including the game winner.

United had been shut out in their previous four trips to San Siro.

The worldwide superstar and lethal striker is only 24 years of age. But by no means is the White Pele an up and coming youngster, having been a staple of the international soccer scene for 8 years.

Rooney is the youngest player ever (4 days prior to his 16th birthday) to notch a goal in the Premiership. And what a gem it was.

A Novel Solution to revamp the Economy

2010-02-15T14:08:00.003-05:00

We now know that getting a job in today's market is almost as exclusive as Diddy's White Party. For baby boomers, the careers they once held so tightly were ripped from their grasp just as they neared retirement. This leaves the current unemployed scrambling for what to do until they can collect that ever so comforting social security check. Almost as scary as the current unemployment crisis, is the amount of money soon to be retirees have saved.

A full 30% of workers age 55 and older said they had less than $10,000 saved, according to the 2009 Retirement Confidence Survey.

This only furthers the notion that we are a people comprised of avid consumers. "Buy anything that strikes your fancy as long as you have that piece of plastic." Can you really blame credit card companies for charging sky-high interest rates? At what point do we take any responsibility for our own finances. Of course I want to go on vacation, have a new 55" LED TV, and a brand new Lexus every three years. But let's be real people. Funding your lifestyle through credit cannot make you rest easy at night. Take a look at current savings rates in this country. Households only save 0.8 percentage points more since the financial meltdown in 2007. What have we really learned?

Now here's a novel idea for those currently searching for any type of job that will hold them over. Many of these jobs are not coming back, whether you like it or not. So as crazy and radical as this sounds, why not try something new with your lives? Take a step back and try to find something more fulfilling to work at rather than be a drone, which I'm sure most of you were. Those who truly love their job, are probably still working. So what do you have to lose? You probably were honest and hard working individuals that got screwed for no reason. Take some time to watch the Bucket List, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, read some Tony Robbins, or do whatever it takes to get your out of your funk. But do yourself a favor and try to accomplish something now. You can always flip the script of your life.

Worst/Funniest Valentine's Day Gifts

2010-02-14T20:19:00.003-05:00

Men, take note. These gifts, although hysterical might not get you laid on Valentine's Day. Don't make this mistake since just around the corner is Steak and Blow job Day (March 14).

Blizzard Gives Massive Facial to East Coast

2010-02-10T18:14:00.006-05:00

Snow got you down? Here is a creative art project designed to make you trip balls for such a rare occasion as this. Enjoy your day off from whatever you do, sober, or not.

Thank you, American Apparel

2010-02-09T22:29:00.003-05:00

This is the best contest in the history of competition. Kim Kardashian might actually have some comp...ummm actuallyyyyyyy, probably not. If you love Kim's best ASSet, you'll definitely enjoy this. CLICK HERE NOW! You're welcome.

Andy Roddick = Overrated in so many ways

2010-02-09T21:47:00.003-05:00

Andy Roddick has become the latest athlete to not deserve his current rank (#7 in the world), and also his wife, Brooklyn Decker. Their love story is quite pathetic actually. Mr. Crosseyed had his agent stalk her out while he masturbated to her first Sports Illustrated swimsuit picture. More proof that life is not fair. See why I hate Marko Jaric if you have any reservations. Check her out below in the 2010 SI Swimsuit issue. It's only a matter of time till she dumps this average, already over the hill tennis player. We can all pray at least.

As if Michael Jackson hasn't suffered enough

2010-02-09T21:17:00.003-05:00

MJ's autopsy was released this past week and big shocker; he died high as hell. We should all be so lucky to go that way but not at the expense of whatever dignity he had left.

"Jackson died of "acute propofol intoxication" administered at a level equivalent to that used during anesthesia..."

Too add insult to injury, the autopsy also goes to the extent to state he wore a wig and had very little hair left. No shit. The emotionally and physically battered child that had his head set of fire as a young adult had some self mutilation tendencies. No shit. Is it really necessary to chastise the man anymore? These new "revelations" are completely unnecessary at this stage. Let the man rest.

A Real Stimulus Plan

2010-02-06T12:19:00.004-05:00

A brilliant idea by Frank Ruscica about how to finally get out of this economic quagmire.

A fusion of the internet and higher education, arguably America's two greatest assets, to create affordable, customized, and high quality education for everybody. This would accelerate the growth of a young and extremely profitable industry while teaching the skills required to aggressively compete in the data driven global economy.

WOW.

Check it out, http://www.opportunitv.com/

This was not a public service announcement. I am not getting paid for this. I actually think its a great idea.

Pepsi will not advertise in the Super Bowl

2010-02-04T20:03:00.003-05:00

The 23 time Super Bowl champ will sit out this year for the first time since 1987. But who can forget how much dough they dropped on this 90 second spot featuring Britney Spears in her prime. This ad is a cruel reminder how quickly women peak, and then hit menopause. Take notes aspiring female artists.

Kyle Bass knows what he's talking about

2010-02-02T21:14:00.003-05:00

If you don't know who Kyle Bass is, here is a little rundown. He made $billions betting against the housing market and the concept of subprime mortgages. If you don't know what a subprime mortgage is; it means you can get a house for $0 down. Sound too good to be true? Well, it was. (However, government is making that possible again) Kyle Bass testified in front of Congress back in January. He has a knack for breaking down financial gibberish for the average listener.

293 Days til Miley Cyrus does Playboy...err..turns 18

2010-02-01T21:43:00.004-05:00

Miley Cyrus attended the Grammys last night but not as a nominee (since her nom was Kanye'd a few days after she received it), or as a singer for that matter. However, we see that she is ready to launch her new career as a sex symbol in less than a year.

X Games are pretty sick

2010-01-31T10:34:00.002-05:00

Check out Bobby Brown pull off the perfect score in Big Air in the 2010 X Games.

Sound Off: Rex Ryan disses Giants Fans

2010-01-25T19:29:00.010-05:00

After stringing together 4 mediocre wins against JV squads including a Chargers team too busy tanning to draw up a gameplan. The New York football Jets gave their gift givers all they could handle. That is, until Peyton Manning realized he only had one football to throw to 4 open receivers. Manning became a man possessed and the Jets were ran out of Indianapolis with their tail between their legs which would seem to silence the oversized gullet of crybaby Rex Ryan. But Ryan is still convinced his team that gave up 478 yards of total offense is the team to beat. Ryan seems to forget even he himself didn't believe his godsend team was good enough to make the playoffs. In his end of the year press conference (which means you didn't win the Super Bowl) Ryan said,

We play a physical brand of football that I don't think people really want to play against.

We have become used to this delusional mantra being instilled in the Jet's locker room. However, Ryan's comments that follow are somehow even more out of touch with reality than his rhetoric propaganda.

Let's play this game in front of our fans and our stadium, the New Jets Stadium (laughter). That is going to be (the name of) it when we play in it. I can't wait. We get our stadium and we are not the visitors in our stadium. This is our stadium. We are the biggest show in town and that's what it's going to be.

Slow your roll tons of fun. This slight to all Giants players, staff, and fans should not be taken as Rex's overzealous 'anything goes' attitude. Last time I checked your "fans" are 30,000 PSL's short of a sell out stadium. And since your self anointed world class defense is so great, why couldn't you even slow down Pierre Gar-who? and Austin-huh? Revis is good, but don't claim he is Deion reincarnate. The only reason Manning didn't throw to Wayne was because the rest of the Jet's secondary was trying to pull their pants up while essentially two rookies outplayed, outclassed, and outsmarted Rex's mastermind defense. There's a reason why Ryan has never beaten Manning, because he's smarter.

Oh, and before you slight the real New York football team, have you forgotten 2007? Did you defeat a 13-3 #1 seed Dallas Cowboy team on the road? No. Did you defeat Brett Favre in the 3rd coldest game and the most difficult road venue in professional football? No. Did you defeat the self-proclaimed greatest team of all time 18-0 New England Patriots with arguably the best postseason quarterback and head coach of all time? No douchebag. There's a reason why it's been called Giants Stadium: Championships, class, and real football fans that aren't delusional about their team's success. Three words: Same Old Jets

The Greatest Limo Service in New York

2010-01-24T20:35:00.003-05:00

Many of us know that riding in a cab in the Big Apple can be an expensive evil. And not saying that all cab drivers are terrorists, but they do give off a certain "get me the fuck out of here asap" vibe. However, the dopest ride in town has just arrived. Al (last name unknown) offers his passengers a throwback 70's type atmosphere and a blunt ride to start off your night on the town. One satisfied customer says,

"I was impressed. I thought it looked pretty sweet," said one passenger who accompanied The News reporter and smoked marijuana. "It definitely lived up to its reputation as the pot limo."

GQ Status

2010-01-24T15:42:00.004-05:00

DirtyJerz Clothing line apparel. You'll look so good it's panty dropping status.

LeBron Getting Soft?

2010-01-21T21:56:00.002-05:00

For those that haven't heard the unfortunate news, King James reneged on his commitment made one year ago to participate in this year's dunk contest taking place in Dallas during the NBA's All Star Weekend. The crowd erupted in cheers at last year's dunk contest when James made this announcement while Nate Robinson was battling Dwight Howard for the crown. I was definitely looking forward to the King throwing down in the contest, but now this may never happen. For lack of a better phrase, "this shit is wack, son." There's no excuse for this. No, he won't get hurt; the guy is a freak. He does dunk contest-worthy dunks on a nightly basis. LeBron could have singlehandedly brought some much needed hype back to the contest that's been missing in the past few years. Some years have been good, but nothing compares to the time of the MJ-Dominique battle or the Dominique-Spud Webb battle.

LeBron could've easily won with this:

Or pretty much any of these:

LeBron, you fucked up.

Scott Brown's Daughters Are Hot

2010-01-20T17:01:00.002-05:00

Meet Ayla. Senior at Boston College, two time Gatorade High School Basketball Player of the Year, and American Idol contestant.

Deep voice. Still a fox.

Then there's daughter Arianna who we don't know much about besides the fact that she's 19 and smoking hot.

Also, apparently Senator Brown has made them available.

So who's it gonna be, Ayla or Arianna? I say... yes.

2010 Audi E-Tron

2010-01-19T19:06:00.003-05:00

Check out the 2010 Audi E-Tron Concept unveiled at the 2010 North American Auto Show.

Christina Hendricks

2010-01-18T22:56:00.009-05:00

Healthy.

Classic

2010-01-18T20:43:00.001-05:00

Dominique Wilkins, Michael Jordan, Vince Carter, and now Abraham Samuels..

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Michael Jackson's long lost twin sons

2010-01-18T16:23:00.002-05:00

Someone better keep tabs on Joe Jackson. Ellen DeGeneres had Darius and Demetrice perform The Jackson Five's hit "I Want You Back" recently on her show. These kids have eerily similar charisma to MJ that only Joe Jackson can whip out. But seriously, they are pretty talented.

Is Beyonce Preggers?

2010-01-18T00:14:00.001-05:00

I got a feeling that this enlarged uterus is not from late night trips to McD's, though it may be from late night trips to McD's. With news of a "divorce" from fake husband and fourth best rapper of all time Jay-Z making the rounds... could it be? Will flavor flav have to take a paternity test? Find out next week on Maury.

I Gotta Feeling!

2010-01-17T23:26:00.001-05:00

I Got A Feeling - Parody
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Some links for thought

2010-01-17T22:12:00.002-05:00

Miranda Kerr should wear lingerie 24/7 (here)

Cheryl Cole is still hotter than Megan Fox (here)

Leonardo DiCaprio used to hit this (here)

Hot college slut (here)

Anna Kournikova made the right career choice: be slutty

Megan Fox and her lesbian crush Olivia Wilde

2010-01-14T19:58:00.004-05:00

Megan Fox has some new Armani underwear. This picture just needs her two lesbo crushes: Rihanna and Olivia Wilde. How bout a three way?